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Reasons Women Suck

So I did the “Reasons Men Suck” to appeal to the ladies and let me tell you, my email was loaded with eager females wanting my body… Still I am a man and I can’t do a post about why the male population is shitty without doing one about females. I’ll try to keep this list short since there are so many reasons I can think of as to why females suck.

1. Nice Guys Finish Last – Oh sure, you have every female out there talking about how they want to find a nice guy who will treat them well. Then they all go out and end up dating that asshole who treats them like shit and ignore the nice guy thats right in front of them. Here is a link to a  post by a guy on Craigslist, in response to females constantly wondering “What happened to all the nice guys?”   http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/lax/483318927.html. It basically sums up everything quite well. You ladies say you want the nice guy but you ignore him so he wises up and leaves. Then in a few years you wonder where he went and why you never noticed him before. This song  is from  “A Very Potter Sequel” (an amazing play, along with the original “A Very Potter Musical”, for Harry Potter fans) and it is sang by Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. It is about how James Potter got Lily Evans even though Snape treated her better and it also sums up my point well; the douchebag gets the girl.  

2. Mind Games – Stop with them already! We pretty much all know you only do them to both torture males and entertain yourselves. Like when you are angry at us and when we have no idea what the hell you are mad about you always have to say, “I shouldn’t have to tell you why I’m angry at you, you should know!” Well obviously we don’t know otherwise we wouldn’t be asking. Or when you pretend to be mad but you’re really not mad at all you just like to see guys sweat. We’re guys, we don’t like playing the mind games. We like it when things are put right out in the open so we can either tackle the problem head on or completely ignore it; depending on how emotional the topic might be.

3. Pressure – Stop putting it on us. We’re human too. And most of us, I’m excluding me here, aren’t perfect. We love the feeling of being needed. We like the fact that you look to us for protection, and that you want us to provide for you and take care of you. Still, a break from these expectations would be great. Maybe you can try to not rely on us so much. Or here’s an abstract thought, maybe once in a while you can take the responsibility of this stuff; just every now and a then you know? Maybe pay for a date here or there. And just so you know, not all guys can be the protector. Kevin Hart explains it best: 

4. You Don’t Always Have To Look Like You’re Going To Prom – It takes your average guy twenty minutes to get ready and that includes showering. Your average women showers for about twenty minutes, then picks out her outfit, does her hair and puts on her makeup in another forty minutes. 99% of the time we don’t care if you doll yourselves up because we think you look beautiful without the make-up on. There is this girl I like and even when she hasn’t showered yet and all she is wearing is sweatpants and a hoodie, I think she looks stunning. Who are you trying to impress? The random people you see as you walk the street? The people that matter, your family and friends, don’t care if you always try to look like a million dollars because the people that do care know you already look like a million dollars. So just stop it.